Why You Keep Dismissing Your Feelings & And How to Start Validating Them
Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I’m overreacting” or “It’s not that big of a deal” when you’re feeling upset? Or maybe you’ve compared your struggles to others and decided your feelings weren’t bad enough to matter. This is emotional self-invalidation, a common coping response shaped by trauma, societal conditioning, or environments where emotions weren’t welcomed or acknowledged.
Over time, dismissing your feelings disconnects you from your inner wisdom, making it harder to regulate your emotions, trust your instincts, express your needs, and feel safe in your body.
The good news? You can unlearn self-invalidation and build a more supportive, compassionate relationship with yourself.
3 Ways to Begin Validating Your Emotions
1. Recognize & Name Your Feelings
Self-invalidation often starts with minimizing or dismissing what we feel. Instead of brushing emotions aside, pause and name what you're experiencing without judgment. Try saying, “I feel anxious right now,” or “I’m noticing sadness in my chest.”
Naming emotions is a powerful first step. It brings awareness, creates space for self-compassion, and helps regulate your nervous system by acknowledging what's real.
2. Practice Supportive Self-Talk
When self-doubt creeps in, shift your inner dialogue. Replace “I shouldn’t feel this way” with “My feelings make sense based on what I’ve been through.”
If that doesn’t feel accessible yet, try softening the statement: “What if my feelings are valid?”
This gentle curiosity invites your nervous system to explore a new experience without forcing anything.
3. Ask Yourself: What Do I Need Right Now?
Instead of ignoring your emotions, turn inward and ask: What do I need in this moment?
Do you need rest? Reassurance? A few slow breaths?
Meeting your needs in small, doable ways reinforces the message that your emotions matter and that you are worthy of care.
Why Emotional Validation Matters for Healing
Many of us grew up learning to suppress or dismiss emotions to stay safe or be accepted. But healing happens when we begin to relate to our feelings differently, with presence, curiosity, and kindness.
You are not too much. Your emotions are not a burden. And you don’t need to keep fixing or pushing yourself to be “better.”
With the right tools and support, it’s possible to move out of chronic self-doubt and into a deeper sense of self-trust.
Your emotions and experiences are valid. See if you can turn toward honoring that today. 💛
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
