When Joy Feels Out of Reach: Why Nervous System Healing Includes Pleasure
When was the last time you felt joy that was simple, pure, and grounding? For many people, joy feels distant, fleeting, or even impossible. You may notice yourself going through the motions of life, but rarely feeling deeply connected to moments of delight.
This is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a reflection of how your nervous system has been shaped by stress or trauma.
Healing Is More Than Pain Relief
When people think of healing, they often imagine less pain, less stress, or fewer symptoms. But true nervous system healing is not only about reducing what is hard. It is also about expanding your system’s capacity to feel pleasure, play, and joy.
Tai, a past client, shared:
“Before working together, I couldn’t really access joy. My brain was moving so fast with anxiety and shame that I didn’t realize how much I was missing. Through somatic practices like glimmering, I retrained myself to slow down and savor. I don’t think I’ve felt this grounded and appreciative of myself since I was a kid.”
Tai’s story reflects a truth many people discover: when you heal through the nervous system, joy is no longer something rare or fleeting. It becomes something you can trust and return to.
What Are Glimmers?
Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They are small moments that remind your nervous system it is safe. It could be the way sunlight dances on the wall, the sound of birds outside your window, or a kind smile from a stranger.
When you pause to notice these subtle cues of safety, your body begins to learn that it does not have to stay in constant defense. Over time, glimmers help rewire your system toward more ease and presence.
The Micro-Joy Practice
Here is a simple way to begin cultivating more joy today:
Take 30 seconds to focus on one sensory pleasure: a warm mug of tea, the softness of your sheets, or a favorite song.
Really savor it. Notice where in your body it feels good.
Stay with it for just a moment longer than you normally would.
Even tiny doses of joy help your nervous system remember that safety and pleasure are possible.
Why This Matters
Healing is not just about surviving less pain. It is about creating space for ease, play, and connection. When joy feels out of reach, it does not mean it is gone. It means your body may be asking for support in remembering how to feel it again.
A Closing Reflection
Joy is not something you must earn. It is a natural part of being human, even if it feels hidden right now.
So I invite you to reflect: What is one small step you can take today to invite joy into your life? It might be pausing for a glimmer, trying the micro-joy practice, or simply giving yourself permission to slow down.
The more you practice, the more your body learns that joy is not just possible, it is safe.
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
