Why Rest Feels Uncomfortable (And How to Practice It Anyway)
Have you ever noticed yourself trying to rest but instead feeling guilty, your thoughts start to spiral, your anxiety kicks in, or you suddenly get the motivation to do all the things on your to-do list?
For many of us, slowing down doesn’t feel restorative, it feels uncomfortable. That’s because our nervous system has been conditioned to associate stillness with danger, failure, or the unknown.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken. There are real reasons why rest feels hard, and you can gently retrain your system to experience it differently.
Why Does Rest Feel So Hard?
When you’ve lived in survival mode for a long time, your nervous system adapts by staying alert and active. Resting can feel like letting your guard down, which may not have felt safe earlier in life. As soon as you stop, thoughts and sensations you’ve been avoiding may surface, making stillness feel overwhelming instead of calming.
On top of this, cultural conditioning reinforces the struggle. Many of us grew up in environments where productivity equaled worth. If you weren’t producing, you were seen as lazy or unmotivated. These messages run deep, so even when your body craves rest, your mind may judge you for “doing nothing.”
The truth is: rest is not laziness. Rest is nourishment.
How to Teach Your Nervous System That Rest Is Safe
The good news is that rest is a skill you can relearn. With gentle, consistent practice, your body can begin to trust that slowing down isn’t a threat. It’s a pathway to safety and restoration.
Here are a few simple ways to start:
Try Micro-Rests: Instead of forcing yourself into an hour of stillness, start small. Take one deep breath, pause for two minutes, or simply close your eyes for a moment.
Anchor Into Safety: While resting, place your hands gently on your chest or belly, or focus on steady, slow breathing. These signals remind your nervous system you’re safe.
Reframe Rest: Instead of seeing rest as “doing nothing,” view it as actively restoring your energy and well-being. Rest is productive in its own way.
A Micro-Rest Practice to Try
Here’s a short somatic practice you can experiment with today:
Find a comfortable position. Sit or lie down where you feel supported
Notice your breath. Without changing it, watch the natural rhythm of your inhales and exhales.
Check in with your body. What sensations do you notice? Where does your body feel contact with the floor or chair?
Stay for two minutes. Simply notice and breathe. If your mind wanders, gently return to your breath.
Close with gratitude. Thank your body for carrying you and for letting you rest in this small way.
Over time, these small practices expand your capacity. Your nervous system begins to learn that stillness isn’t unsafe, it’s supportive.
Rest Is a Skill You Can Relearn
Rest isn’t about doing nothing. It’s about allowing your body to reset, restore, and reconnect. But if your nervous system was conditioned to associate stillness with danger or failure, it makes sense that rest feels uneasy at first.
Every time you practice, even in micro ways, you’re teaching your system a new story: that rest is safe, nourishing, and deeply needed.
About the Author
Shai Maxine is a trained somatic practitioner specializing in helping people navigate stress, chronic pain, and emotional overwhelm. With years of experience guiding clients toward greater ease and connection, Shai offers practical tools rooted in somatic awareness and mindfulness. When not working, Shai enjoys hiking, cooking, creating art, and petting as many dogs as she can. Follow along on instagram @shai.maxine
